A632.6.3.RB_HallMike

While I am not scared of conflict, I am more than willing to do what is needed to keep it from reaching that point when discussing things, especially in my work environment.  A submarine is small enough as it is - having someone that is pissed at you just because you couldn’t resolve your differences makes it that much smaller.  On the other hand, I will not shy away if I know I am right and the conflict is worth the outcome.  I recently entered into a conflict where I knew I had little chance of success but it had to be entered into on a matter of principle.  Without getting into too much detail, I strongly disagreed with a decision that had been made at my command.  I could have shrugged it off as just another wrong turn but instead I decided that I had to stand up for my guys and how I felt, so I decided to confront the decision maker.  Rather than engage right there, I removed myself from the situation for the remainder of the day and thought about how I would approach confronting the issue in the morning.  I wrote down why I thought the decision was not appropriate, developed facts to support them (also to ensure that I wasn’t too far off the middle ground – it was a sanity check for me), and asked to speak with the decision maker the following morning.  As I said before, I knew nothing was really going to come out of it as I knew full well that he had made up his mind for far more than professional reasons.  Anyways, I entered into the discussion as calmly as possible at which time we proceeded to go back and forth for about an hour.  I would present my opinion and supporting documentation, he would refute it saying the documentation wasn’t applicable in the situation and so on.  I didn’t press illogical or hypocritical statements as I thought he would take it as a personal attack (which in hindsight I was correct).  The outcome of the conflict was that the person now doesn’t trust me and thinks that I am a liability due to my inability to fall blindly into place in line.  Based on my observations and the observations of others, I have no doubt he harbors ill will for me entering into the discussion.  I probably would have still entered into the discussion due to how strongly I felt about it, however I did not fully grasp the level of personal misgivings he would take from the discussion. 

Looking at Levine’s 10 principles of new thinking, I think they would have only helped the situation if he would have been willing to also abide by them.  In fact, I would say I employed at least 5 of the 10 principles in the conversation whereas he continued to display the old type of thinking (which is where the problem did and still lies).  I entered the discussion wanting to open the air between us whereas he maintained a posturing stance and was looking to win the conversation vice reach an agreement.  I wasn’t looking for a future adversary, which is apparently exactly what I got.  Also, as I mentioned before, I wasn’t looking to necessarily win the conflict, I just wanted him to know that I had x number of reasons to say he was really making a bad call (I was only trying to provide watch team backup - something he can't take apparently).

The lessons I learned were/are pretty simple.  If you know what you are doing is the right thing to do, do it regardless of the potential outcomes.  While I might have created a problem for myself with the person that controls my life at the command, I gained the respect of everyone else there, something that is much more important to me.  This was the first real situation I’ve had where I needed to go to bat for one of my guys, and I think I did a good job doing so, even if the outcome wasn’t changed.  Additionally, Levine’s 10 principles only work if both parties are willing to use the new style of thinking vice the old.

A632.5.5.RB_HallMike

My core values listed on the concept map are very dear to me and I try to incorporate them into my daily life.  As a result, they definitely directly affect how and the outcomes of my decisions.  My values of serving your country, equality for all, and my reputation are very important to me and a I strive to ensure I do not violate them for any reason.

First, my value of serving your country is something I think that most Americans would do well to not forget.  Too often people in this country take for granted the opportunity that is present in this place and how blessed we are to live here.  As a result, I strongly feel that we should in some way give back to our country.  At the very least, I think people shouldn’t have a problem paying taxes when it goes to support the multitude of things the government provides to us.  As a result, I made the biggest career choice of my life when I joined the military, and I encourage many to do the same.  With that being said, it doesn’t have to be just in the military – going out and doing community service helps out your country and makes you feel like you did something for reasons other than it benefiting you.  With that being said, I also can’t stand people that expect the government to provide things for them or people that “hate” our country.  I will go out of my way to avoid people like this, going to extreme measures if necessary.  This value is very protected however if came down to my country or my family, I’d choose my family 9 times out of 10.

My next value is also incredibly important to me.  I believe that everyone is equal in this world and that there should be no benefits granted to any one person because of their race/creed/religion/sexual preference/gender, etc.  While not everyone has the same capability of others, everyone is entitled to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness and no one has the right to remove this from them.  While not explicitly in my thinking, I know that it might be a “process” running in the background when I make decisions involved with people and I know it has changed how I voted on more than one occasion.  Where/what you accomplish in this life should be purely merit based, and I will push to ensure that anyone above or below me understands where I stand on that principle.

Thirdly, my reputation is very important to me.  More so than the other 2, this value is probably present much more in my daily life than the other 2.  When faced with a public (or even private decision for that matter) decision, I will actively think about how others might view this decision and how it might alter my reputation.  While I don’t care if people agree or disagree with the decision, as long as people can say that I made the decision with a clear conscious and free of emotions/bias, I’ll be happy with the outcome.  I have been on the wrong end of a decision that in my opinion was the result of someone being biased against me – from then on I made sure that I would never place anyone in that situation.  This has its benefits in that I look at other frames of reference/how others might view my decision however some might say there is a big drawback of allowing how others might view a decision sway me.  As I said above, I don’t care about whether or not it is a popular/unpopular decision, my reputation for being a fair and logical thinker is what I am referring to, not my popularity.  Additionally, I strive to keep my word – if I say I am going to do something, I will go to great extremes to ensure I follow through.  This often means that I get a little over-burdened and my private life suffers.  Luckily my wife understands how I am, even if she gets a little frustrated with it at times.

A632.4.5.RB_HallMike

         

          Deceit in a professional atmosphere is not something I am familiar or comfortable with as I will discuss later on.  I understand it is a common occurrence in the business world, but I wish it didn’t have to be and I strive to ensure that the Navy maintains an integrity filled work force.  With that being said, I am deceived at least weekly with some of my students as their advisor.  During the course of an interview with them, I might ask them how their grades are going.  95% of the time I’ll hear the same thing: “things are going great… no problems what so ever.”  Unfortunately, they are just telling me what I want to hear in order for me to stay off of them.  I find out they weren’t truthful when grades/early alerts come out.  Then I get to call them out on it and counsel them on being honest when asked a direct question.  While I can comfortably say that I can do this at work since I strive for excellence in integrity, it might be a little hypocritical of me given I routinely embellish the amount of time it takes for me to do my homework with my wife.  I know that some of these assignments take around an hour or so but I’ll add 30 minutes when talking with my wife for a couple of reasons.  First off, I honestly don’t want to get her expectations up by promising that I will be done when I know I won’t be.  Secondly (and a little more dishonesty seeps in), if I finish early I can have 30 minutes to myself either reading on the net or playing some computer games.  This misinformation is exactly the little white lies that occurs commonly in the business world – it’s nothing personal, just business.

                I think the book offers some great methods to guard against deception.  I personally use verbal and nonverbal cues when looking for deceit with my students.  When someone usually maintains eye contact then suddenly looks away when discussing what they are not telling the truth about, that’s a sure give away.  Additionally, things like people repeating the question, mumbling, or pausing a little longer to formulate a response is usually an indication that whatever follows isn’t 100% accurate.   I find that smart phones are an outstanding tool for everyday conversation and embellishing.  When I think I hear something that is a little too good to be true, a quick fact search via Google can quickly confirm or refute the discussion point.  Last but not least, I think my favorite way to check the facts is by asking direct questions.  If you provide an ambiguous question, you open yourself up to less than truthful responses.  Rather than asking “how are things” with my students, I straight ask them, “how is your ____ class going; are you going to get any early/midterm alerts” etc.  With these pointed questions, they either answer truthfully or lie.

                While I have very limited business experience (read none), I understand that misleading people during negotiations is somewhat accepted, especially in eastern cultures (where business is pretty much seen as war, and all is fair in love and war).  With that being said, there is no room for misleading people in my line of work for a couple of reasons.  First and foremost, my community prides itself on honesty and integrity as it is a vital aspect of nuclear safety.  There is zero room for anything except cold hard facts while working with nuclear power.  If you mess up, you fess up or risk being kicked out.  Secondly, subs are filled with incredibly smart people who may just be able to call out your misinformation right then and there - I was amazed on a daily basis by how much people would know about the happenings going on in the boat.  At the very least, they will probably research any factoid or perceived misinformation afterwards.  If it is identified that you were not truthful, your reputation is instantly and almost permanently harmed (especially in the engine room where pristine integrity is crucial).  If a senior officer catches you, you can forget about him/her ever trusting you again and the same goes for enlisted guys and gals also.  What I am essentially saying is that while I’m in the Navy, you can forget about me embellishing any fact in order to gain leverage – I’ll be truthful 100% of the time, thank you!

A632.3.4.RB_HallMike

Making decisions is such a challenging thing in life for a variety of reasons.  First, they often are leading you down at least two very different paths in life where the Lord only knows where you will end up.  Additionally, you often have insufficient or untested data for you to assist in making your decisions.  Another problem with decision making is the “frame” through which you are viewing your decision.  In general, many people have issues with the different framing problems, and I am no different.

The first framing problem is frame blindness.  In this situation, you are not only having a hard time with a frame but you are also potentially looking out the completely wrong one.  In other words, you are seeing a problem in the incorrect light and are completely missing potentialities of the situation.  In my case, I often make decisions with my wife looking through a literal frame – I say and do things at face value with little ideas of ulterior motives.  My wife on the other hand is always looking for hidden meanings.  Rather than me continue to make poor decisions in my wife’s eyes, I had to start stepping back and think about how my decisions might be viewed from her frame of reference.  As a result, I make a lot less careless decisions with respect to my wife.

The second framing problem is illusion of completeness.  In this situation, you think you have all of the necessary facts when in reality you are missing a large portion of them.  I had a recent problem with this when we purchased a new car.  It was at the end of the year and the dealership was incredibly busy.  As a result, the salesman was very hurried in going through our paperwork – he insisted that everything was as it should be and that the paperwork was complete.  This hurried mindset and illusion of completeness with the paperwork pushed me to believe that everything was good to go.  Although he was about 90% right, there were some major problems with our paperwork: he shorted us over $200 in title fees and he registered our car to the wrong house.  Had I not trusted him and insisted on thoroughly going through the paperwork, I am positive I would have caught these errors.  Instead, he assured me everything was ok and directed me to look through a frame that was not near as complete as I desired.

The third framing problem is overconfidence.  In this situation, one thinks that their frame of reference is superior to others and discards it.  For this scenario, I have to go back a bit to find a situation that fits as I try very hard to take other peoples’ viewpoint into consideration, but an event in swimming does come to mind.  One of the other swimmers I trained with had a particular way of doing one of his strokes.  I thought it was rather goofy and pretty much wrote him off as having a strange stroke.  As time wore on, his stroke started to catch on (several others had similar versions) and I was left swimming an outdated breast stroke.  If I had decided to try his method earlier, I might have taken to it much quicker than I did since it was many thousands of yards of training later before I finally did pick it up.

In conclusion, framing a problem is an everyday situation that many people face unsuccessfully.  With that in mind, knowing that it is a very challenging problem and that you are weak at it allows you focus your thoughts in order to overcome your shortcomings.  While I continue to struggle at times with frames, I would say that I have improved over the past 10 years in trying to not fall into the framing traps that are out there – I still have a ways to go, but I will continue to work on it.